Not Home

Alright, it's bad.

Before, it was just not good. Now, it's bad.

We're not at home when we're home.
It's not our home. It's theirs.
That's been made ever-increasingly, abundantly clear.

Nothing is ever okay.
It's just varying degrees of tolerable.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for the next mistake, or complaint, or scolding.

It's bad.

The Job (part 2)

Still not sure I want this.
A job is a job is a job, I know.
But, if I really hate it...

The Job

I can do The Job.
I can be good at The Job.
But it's only a job.

The question is:
Can I do this job without hating it?
Can I do this job in good conscience?
Will I be able to look at myself in the mirror?

As I've been reminded, I don't have to make a lifetime commitment.
I can keep working toward something else.
Something better. Something fulfilling.
Something To be proud of.

Ambivalence

How does one decide what they really want to do in life?
I mean, how does one know?

Without experience, I can't make informed decisions.
But I have to make decisions about paths to take, to get experience.
At what point should I give up and just go with the "logical" course?

When is it time to abandon the pursuit of a dream?

A new Month

July.

It's hot. It's halfway through the year.
Half the year gone, but still have half left.

Six months to do what we can this year.
Six months, and then another year will be past.

Six months to live through.
Six months to live with.
Six months to live for.

The drawing board

The expression is: "Back to the drawing board."
Meaning: well, so much for that.
And then, start over, with either
a different approach or a different endeavor.

Begin again. Again.

My Fair Lady

It seemed like a simple inquiry, I'm sure.

What would be entailed in making a dress like this? Can you do it?
Well...yes. I can. Will I? There's the more important question.

And are you willing to pay what it's worth?